The Trenton Rule Book
A Machiavellian Primer For New State Government Officials

When taking that big, important administration position in Trenton, remember:

1. You didn't get your job because you were the best. Nationwide talent searches rarely occur when staffing a new administration. It is more likely you got your job because your father knows someone, you're considered non-threatening, or the people they really wanted all turned them down. Try to get a grip in those first heady days.
   
   
2. People are not nice to you because they like you. It's your title, stupid, and if that changes, no one will remember you are alive. A good point to keep in mind is this: The same people who didn't return your phone calls before you got the job won't return them when you leave it. The only way you'll know who your friends are is after you're fired, transferred, or dealt a crippling blow in an internal power struggle. In any of these circumstances, most people won't even make eye contact.
   
   
3. What goes around comes around. Most veterans of the Trenton power game believe strongly in this principle. When you're down, it helps to think that the people who put you there will get theirs someday. And when you're up, you're in a position to see that this maxim holds true for those on your grudge list. The primary reason that your arrogant, evil, Machiavellian behavior will come back to haunt you depends less on some divine order of justice than on the fact that there are plenty of people with long memories. Which leads to the next point--payback can take an inordinately long time, but, once again, the people you treat badly are patient and feel that your demise is worth waiting for.
   
   
4. Certain ideas never die, and you should be extremely leery of people who come to you in the first hours of your tenure and use the word "emergency." The Department of Corrections is particularly good at this. "If you don't approve this (spending, organizational chart, proposal) we'll have an emergency (riot, fiscal crisis, federal sanction)." It will be years before you see you've been had, and the only emergency was getting to you before you figured out just how many people before you said, "No."
   
   
5. No reality supersedes political reality. If you have an idea that "won't fly," which is Trenton speak for a) won't get through the legislature or b) will kill the governor in the upcoming election, you're best to drop it. The most you can hope is that it will float around in the public debate for a decade or so, at which time political reality might change. This worked for casino gambling but not for initiative and referendum. Don't make the mistake of thinking that, just because your idea will create thousands of jobs, save millions of lives or further the case of democracy in our lifetimes that you can buck the system. Conversely, don't think because your idea is probably unconstitutional, it won't win wide political support. No one cares about such technicalities, except for the Office of Legislative Services, and no one cares about them. If your idea sounds good to the right people, hang the constitution.
   
   
6. The people who stay late every night actually quit the same time you did. The number of people milling around after hours is inversely proportional to the amount of work accomplished. If schmoozing, sucking up and showing how loyal you are were of benefit to the taxpayers, this would be a highly productive time. Actually, the taxpayer would be better served if you left your light on and propped an inflatable dummy at your desk. Go home and do something useful­such as rest­so you can get in before 10:30 the next morning.
   
   
7. At budget time, everyone around the table knows more than you do about the departmental spending plan under discussion. This is a game, and you're at a supreme disadvantage in that you are ignorant and you think it's serious. Do not think you can win. You may be able to skate to a tie. Take the following scenario, which has been replicated thousands of times as the career people sit down with the new political people. The 18-year veteran department administrator, who is sitting on a $20 million cushion developed for just such times as this, looks at his spreadsheet, slowly shakes his head, and itemizes all the devastating cuts made in previous years. He will go all the way back to the Byrne administration if necessary. They're operating on bare bones right now, and any further reductions will devastate the department. It could bring a tear to your eye if you didn't know that the last round of cuts involved eliminating unfilled positions. Remember this is a game. If, after several periods of play, you can apply enough pressure and convince him you mean it, he will offer to go back and review the numbers one more time. Miraculously, he will "find" savings of $5 million, thus averting your threatened layoffs. It is important to remember here that this is as good as it gets. You have saved $5 million, he has saved $15 million for the next exercise, and no one loses a job. Take your ball and go home.
   
   
8. Try to remember why Civil Service was started in the first place. Do you really want a bunch of inexperienced, power mad schmucks such as yourself running everything? The state bureaucracy contains many dedicated public servants, and also many who give the stereotype its staying power. Pretend you're on a treasure hunt. Find the true gems in the ranks of state workers, treat them with the dignity and respect they deserve, and let them help. You need it. No only will they steer you through the mine fields, but they offer a much needed historical memory of why great ideas failed in the past. They may think it is silly that you're in charge and they have to explain everything to you, but they will never mention it to your face. If you find such people, willing to save your backside at every turn, promote them. That way, someone down the road will be able to say of the new director, "I remember when she was just a secretary."
   
   
9. This fancy new job you have is a stepping stone to nowhere. Countless others dreamed of launching themselves from, say, Assistant Counsel to the Governor, to, say, CEO of Warner Lambert. Let's go back down memory lane and see where everyone landed. Ex-governors and legislators are lucky to get good jobs, let alone you. No one in the private sector likes government, or understands what you did there. Your resume is not impressive. That's why so many people leave their exalted positions to return to the law firm that spawned them or to start their own "public affairs" consulting firm. Those who thought their high-ranking and ever-so-important government job would lead to some greater glory found, instead, that it was the pinnacle of their careers. If you're lucky, you'll have a title you can carry with you, such as Senator, General (attorney), or Chief (of staff). This is all you'll have, but it will be possible to cajole a few of your remaining friends into calling you these things well into your dotage.
   
   
10. Learn to laugh. This is not the big time. You will not change the world. You will be fortunate to survive the in-fighting. Don't start believing your own press releases. When you begin thinking your phone is tapped, take a vacation. Loosen up and have fun.

Author's Note: The writer of "The Trenton Rule Book," who asked to remain anonymous, is a current satate government official and a veteran of a quarter century in New Jersey politics and government.